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Thursday 31 July 2014

What to do when there's a spot the size of Jupiter in the middle of your face



I am currently the victim of a terrible affliction. Right now, there is a spot the size of a planet between my eyes. Dead on, right in the middle, centre of attention in any glance at my face.

No I won't show you a picture.

No.

Absolutely not.

No amount of Instagram filters is going to hide this fucker. 

But trust me, it's there. 

I have had terrible skin from a very young age (the kind you get put on medication for) but it seems to be stressing out on a much more frequent basis lately, and I am 100% not okay with this.  I've actually upped my skin care game recently, switching from the beauty blogger's worst enemy, the facewipe, to gentle hot cloth cleansing and regular moisturising and masks. My skin, for whatever reason,  clearly doesn't like this extra attention, and frankly, it's behaving like a spoilt brat because of it - throwing ugly, painful tantrums all over the place.

However, this one occupying the space between my eyebrows is something else - like a cross between a bullet would and an imploded crater. I'm writing this on the tube and I can actually see it in my reflection in the window opposite me - and it's not one of those easy-to-pop spots that's going anywhere fast. 

If you're suffering too and anywhere near to my level of despair, fear not - here is my 5-point plan for coping without sobbing, becoming a hermit, or retreating into a balaclava for the foreseeable future. 

Treat it
Despite my outbreak, I've been keeping up with the ole cleanse tone moisture, and throwing in a few extra bonuses, like facial oils and targeted treatments. It's a tortoise-slow process, but those products are marketed for a reason, and the majority of them will work. It's important not to overload skin, as this can only exacerbate things, but a bit of extra TLC can definitely make a difference. If nothing else, a dollop of toothpaste or a paste of crushed-up aspirin will help to shrink the spot and make it less of a national talking point. 

Cover it
I am currently wearing three concealers and layers of two different foundations, one of which is Estée Lauder's cement-thick Double Wear. In these extreme cases, there is no such thing as too much. 

Accesorize!
The only (and I mean only) fortunate thing about this beast is that its location means sunglasses actually hide it almost completely - and as it's July-nearly-August, I don't look like a total jackass wearing them. If you're in a similar boat and your blemish can be hidden by a scarf, hat, eyepatch (too far?) etc, take advantage of this fact and wear them, with as much dignity as you can muster. 

Address it
One of the most awkward things about having one of these god-awful face consuming spots is that everyone else is staring at it, but no one wants to mention it. Do the hard work for them and call out the elephant on your face. Saying "Please excuse the small mountain erupting from the bridge of my nose" and generating a sympathic giggle is a lot less painful than people saying "Jesus Christ, have you seen the absolute monster on her?" behind your back. If you're lucky, they might even have some helpful treatment tips too. 

Pretend it's not there (because soon it won't be)
Blemishes come and blemishes (eventually) go, but your face is there forever, as are all of the features that you actually didn't mind about yourself before the spot from hell appeared. Make the most of the rest of you - do your hair how you like it, wear your favourite dress, try that new lipstick you've wanted for ages (hey, it'll draw attention to your mouth!) At the end of the day, unless they're incredibly blessed, everyone has spots and none of them care about yours as much as you do, so woman up, take it on the chin (or in my case, SQUARE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FACE) and remind yourself that it'll all be over soon.

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